365 Days of Jokes

A Year of the Funniest Jokes Ever!
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Mizzle
A little blind rabbit and a little blind snake met each other in the woods one day and, as neither of them could see what species they were so they decided to feel each other and then describe each other so that the rabbit would know what kind of anima...
Rabbit and the Snake - Funny Long Joke
A little blind rabbit and a little blind snake met each other in the woods one day and, as neither of them could see what species they were so they decided to feel each other and then describe each other so that the rabbit would know what kind of anima...
In prison you spend the majority of your time in an 8' by 10' cell. At work you spend most of your time in a 6' by 8' cubicle. In prison you get three meals a day. At work you only get a break for one meal and you have to pay for that one....
Prison vs Work - Funny Long Joke
In prison you spend the majority of your time in an 8' by 10' cell. At work you spend most of your time in a 6' by 8' cubicle. In prison you get three meals a day. At work you only get a break for one meal and you have to pay for that one....
When the store manager returned from lunch, he noticed his clerk's hand was bandaged, but before he could ask about the bandage, the clerk had some very good news for him. "Guess what, sir?" the clerk said. "I finally sold that terrible, ugly suit we'v...
Tough Customer - Funny Long Joke
When the store manager returned from lunch, he noticed his clerk's hand was bandaged, but before he could ask about the bandage, the clerk had some very good news for him. "Guess what, sir?" the clerk said. "I finally sold that terrible, ugly suit we'v...
Phil goes to Europe and leaves his favorite dog with his brother James. While in Europe, Phil calls James to check on his dog and asks, "So James, how's my favorite dog doing?" James very tersely replies, "Your dog is dead." "What?" says Phil. "You can...
Your Dog is Dead - Funny Long Joke
Phil goes to Europe and leaves his favorite dog with his brother James. While in Europe, Phil calls James to check on his dog and asks, "So James, how's my favorite dog doing?" James very tersely replies, "Your dog is dead." "What?" says Phil. "You can...
A guy is out on the lash with the lads and gets wildly drunk. By the time he staggers home he is covered in vomit and, sure enough, his wife is waiting up for him. The following weekend he’s out again with his mates, but avoiding the booze. When one of...
Drunk man - Funny Long Joke
A guy is out on the lash with the lads and gets wildly drunk. By the time he staggers home he is covered in vomit and, sure enough, his wife is waiting up for him. The following weekend he’s out again with his mates, but avoiding the booze. When one of...
A policeman is driving past a roadside apple stand when he notices the sign: "Apple seeds, guaranteed to make you smarter, $20 per seed." He pulls over and informs the vendor that it is fraud and false advertising to make absurd claims like this. "No, ...
Guaranteed... Seeds - Funny Long Joke
A policeman is driving past a roadside apple stand when he notices the sign: "Apple seeds, guaranteed to make you smarter, $20 per seed." He pulls over and informs the vendor that it is fraud and false advertising to make absurd claims like this. "No, ...
Dear Tech Support: Last year I upgraded from Boyfriend 5.0 to Husband 1.0 and noticed a slow down in the overall performance, particularly in the flower and jewellery applications that had operated flawlessly under Boyfriend 5.0. In addition, Husband 1...
Software Upgrade - Funny Long Joke
Dear Tech Support: Last year I upgraded from Boyfriend 5.0 to Husband 1.0 and noticed a slow down in the overall performance, particularly in the flower and jewellery applications that had operated flawlessly under Boyfriend 5.0. In addition, Husband 1...
A man was out, driving happily along in his car late one Saturday night. Before too long, a cop pulled him over. The policeman walked up to the man and asked, "Have you been drinking, sir?" "Why? Was I weaving all over the road?" "No," replied the poli...
Drunk Driver - Funny Long Joke
A man was out, driving happily along in his car late one Saturday night. Before too long, a cop pulled him over. The policeman walked up to the man and asked, "Have you been drinking, sir?" "Why? Was I weaving all over the road?" "No," replied the poli...
A guy is at the pearly gates, waiting to be admitted, while St. Peter is leafing through the big book to see if the guy is worthy of entering. Saint Peter goes through the book several times, furrows his brow, and says to the guy, "You know, I can't se...
When did this happen? - Funny Long Joke
A guy is at the pearly gates, waiting to be admitted, while St. Peter is leafing through the big book to see if the guy is worthy of entering. Saint Peter goes through the book several times, furrows his brow, and says to the guy, "You know, I can't se...
A hunter kills and eats a bald eagle, and is arrested for violating the Endangered Species Act. He pleads guilty, and throws himself on the mercy of the court. "Your Honor," the hunter said, "I had no idea that it was illegal to kill and eat a bald eag...
Bald eagle - Funny Long Joke
A hunter kills and eats a bald eagle, and is arrested for violating the Endangered Species Act. He pleads guilty, and throws himself on the mercy of the court. "Your Honor," the hunter said, "I had no idea that it was illegal to kill and eat a bald eag...
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